So, Rachel sent me a happy-birthday e-mail. DOUBLE-YEW-TEE-EFF.

and she talked about a lot of other shit in it, too. I don't know why she felt the need to send it to me. she's such an ass. srsly, I wish she could just go off and live her happy life and not bother me.

I don't even know what to say, I'm steaming mad.

Tomorrow's the big day now, it seems.

Fuck. XD

This'll be interesting.

...to say the least.

Now, I need to make/find a box. I sort of figured out how to make chocolate. Go me.

...I'll be giving it to him tomorrow. Oh my god.

Wish me luck!

(I'm so screwed... Hah.)

I think I'll bring the mess-up batches to Japan club. Hee.

[ADDITION]

FUCK. It appears as though the senior play is going to be at the same time as outright. On the one hand, I REALLY want to go to the senior play. On the other hand, I'm probably going to be rejected tomorrow, and will really need outright on Friday.

ARGGHHHH

I really dislike having crushes on people. Especially when said person is out of my league. Even more so, when my interactions with said person make me feel as though they might like me even a little bit, even when I know it's extremely unlikely.

Now, I'm faced with the decision of telling this person quickly to get it over with before my crush turns into something more, or interacting with them more to try and develop our casual relationship and maybe have more of a chance of them liking me back. Only downfall of the latter, is that I can't avoid my feelings becoming even a little bit deeper if I choose that route....

AGHHH What do I doooo~~

(And no, I'm not telling you who they are.)

Just an explanation, because no matter how much I know it's a better idea to delete that last entry, I had to get it out and make sure everyone knows that I really am hurt by your decision.

Unless you hate me for being so angry at you (in which case... haha), I'm still going to be friends with you. But every time I look at you, I'm going to feel hurt. It'll take me quite a while to actually get over it. I might sometimes just leave you guys out of the blue, because of my feelings.

Yeah.

Whatever.

Ew. Life.

Original title: "Not gonna lie, folks."

I AM really fking angry at you.

I may seem calm, but that's only because I'm denying that you could do this to me.

So this is how it went down.

I performed first, and I knocked their fucking socks off. With the exception of the last performers, who were really a band anyways, I was the only person who got zero negative feedback from the judges. Yeah. And I was first.

Then, I got into the finals. The FINALS. That means I beat Taylor Lintelman, DJ Ingalls, Laura Messner and all those other people I've always been put under the impression are better than me.

Yeah.

Then I performed the last time, and I blew everyone to the moon. Jess performed after me, and forgot to turn her mic on, messed up a bunch of high notes, and made one amazingly terrible mistake that no-one could overlook. Or so I thought. I forgot that all her friends came and they think she's adorable and would never want her upset.

So guess what?

I got third place. Out of three people.

Yeah, I'm really fucking happy.

But really mad, because even Jess knows I beat her.

But she has friends.

And I, obviously, don't.

I wouldn't've been upset with second place, because that band was incredible. Plus, they're a band. That's totally different from a single performer.

I'm mad that people actually voted in terms of popularity, and that I thought they wouldn't.

Misanthropy. FTW.

Yeah. Even though there's a long weekend, I don't think I'm going to make plans with any of you.

Not gonna lie, even if I hadn't wanted you to come so damn badly, Exeter Idol was an amazing-fun time. You would've loved it. But you chose DDR and food instead.

Wow.

Good choice, guys.

If you're mad at me, I don't care.

Because both you and I know, that this is completely justified.

You just wish you didn't have to hear about it.